8 Movies That Never Should’ve Been Remade

Remaking already-good movies is a time-honored, Hollywood tradition. Using old story lines and ideas from brilliant directors is much easier than coming up with something original, so time and time again, studios dish out rehashed films. While some remakes hold up pretty well or pay respectful homage to the old film, many cross that fine line between a movie that’s worth $10 to see in the theater and one that should’ve been sent straight to DVD. Whether they should’ve just been a different movie that drew inspiration from a great one or they totally made us lose faith in Hollywood, these eight movies have definitely seen better days.

1. The Italian Job:

   

   The 1969 British film starring Michael Caine is a classic in the U.K. and the world over, and features the iconic Mini Coopers, a sleek Aston Martin convertible, and lots of action. Often listed in the top 50 best British films, the script contains some seriously memorable one-liners. And it was probably this success that brought Hollywood clamoring for a remake. The 2003 Italian Job may be the same in name, but the plot is drastically different — not necessarily bad, just different. This combined with the less charming cast means there’s really no competition between the old and the new. But Hollywood would’ve been better off taking inspiration from the original and using a different name, than tarnishing the classic.

2. Psycho:

   

   After watching Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 thriller, you probably couldn’t take a shower without freaking out for years. After seeing the 1998 remake (if you even bothered to check it out), you were probably just wondering why the dude from Swingers tried to take on such a serious, creepy role. In retrospect, it’s even worse that Vince Vaughn, now famous for ridiculous parts in Wedding Crashers, Dodgeball, and other screwball comedies, took on the part of icky murderer Norman Bates in this shot-by-shot remake. Nothing is added to this version of this film (besides an unnecessary masturbation scene), and something is definitely missing that only Hitchcock and his crew could bring to the table.

3. The Manchurian Candidate:

   

   The 2004 version of The Manchurian Candidate attempts to bring the story of government takeover and brainwashing into the modern age and actually does it quite well if you don’t hold it up against the original, which took place during the Cold War. Though the remake does well as a standalone political thriller, the post-9/11 atmosphere doesn’t quite provide the same tense climate as the Cold War era. The movie is up to date, but a little bit muddled, and makes you wish they would’ve left well enough alone and stuck Denzel Washington into another film that wasn’t trying to live up to something else.

4. Footloose:

   

   Fine, Footloose was as cheesy back then as it is now, but at least back then, it was original cheesiness. The original from 1984 starred Kevin Bacon as the rebel who just had to dance, and in the ’80s, that seemed incredibly cool. "Look at that guy dancing his anger out in a warehouse! What an icon!" In 2011, the charm has worn off a bit. They’ve updated the dancing and found new, beautiful teens to break the dancing ban, but the new version is just a shadow of the original, working only for kids who didn’t know the glory of the ’80s.

5. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:

   

   Tim Burton’s remake of the well-loved children’s film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was not only totally unneeded, but leaves you feeling a little uncomfortable with the child-like candy maker. In the original, Gene Wilder played Wonka as a quirky, yet cynical adult who you would feel OK leaving your children with if it weren’t for those unfortunate accidents waiting in every room for the naughty kids. Johnny Depp’s Wonka, however, comes across as one-part potential pedophile, one-part village idiot. And don’t even get us started on the new Oompa Loompas.

6. The Vanishing:

   

   Many Americans probably hadn’t heard of this Dutch-French film (also known as Spoorloos for the Dutch crowd) by George Sluizer when it came out in 1990 in the U.S., but it was praised by critics and won film festival awards for its disturbing look at obsession and a sociopath. Its dark ending was also lauded for making the film great, and it’s one thing that Sluizer cut when he remade the film for the American market in 1993. Normally, it’s a completely different director messing up an original, but Sluizer did it to himself. The new version, which stars Kiefer Sutherland and Jeff Bridges, is a poor imitation of the first with a dull, predictable Hollywood ending.

7. The Wicker Man:

   

   We probably don’t need to say more than "Nic Cage" for you to understand why this remake just shouldn’t have happened, but we’ll expand anyway. Besides the terrible choice for the leading man, the direction of the film, by Neil LaBute, falls completely flat. The parts he took directly from the original miss the mark and his new scenes are just ridiculous. Rather than including the Christian vs. Pagan elements that made sense in the original, LaBute chose to make the cult of women act like bees, which of course leads to the classic bees-on-head scene that no one will ever forget.

8. The Longest Yard:

   

   What’s the difference between Adam Sandler and Burt Reynolds? One makes a believable football player (and looks mighty fine on a bear-skin rug) and the other doesn’t. Reynolds actually played college football before an injury sidelined him, so his role as a prison team’s quarterback seemed to fit him. Sandler, on the other hand, is more cut out for playing the mentally handicapped player of The Waterboy and lacks the charm and grit required for this part. Nothing against the original, but was this story even worth two movies? We don’t think so.

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